i'll be understanding.

BAD NEWS.
I was forced to apply for JC entry for next year.
that is the bad news.
and i have to take economics which is a compulsary subject
i dont even know how it works. lol.
but i'll just go fer the sake of making my mom happy.
though i dread going there.

today, i'll rot at home. basically all the 5days this week, i spent it by going out.
haha.
but going out is better then staying at home and doing nothing. lol.
and i want to ask my mom out on a shopping date. haha.
i need new stuffs. my clothes are always not sufficient enough.
she owes me 500 dollars fer doing well fer the prelim exams.
now, i wish i dint do well for prelims. lol.
cos i have to undergo three months of torture. lol.

" i'll never try to hold you back
i'll wouldnt try controlling you.
if its what you want.
it is what i want.
i want whats best for you."

it may be just a verse from a song.
but it means so much more to me than just that.
look into it.
think indepth.
jeng jeng jeng. haha.
and i lovee the songs to bits and pieces.

i'l try looking fer a job fer december.
i dunt knw if i should sit and rot at home.
or go out everyday like nobody's business.
haha.

indeed, i'm very happy with my life now.
i lead a simple and a carefree life.
i realised again that i was gullible enough to believe whatever mr STUD BELT said..
he goes around clinging to any gerl that he could find.
and give other gerls false hopes that he is waitingfor dem.
shitness right.
i'm neither hurt or angry. why should i be.
cos i found the answer that i've been searching fer the past 6 months when i knew him.
the reality is... I DONT LOVE HIM. I DONT...
i was forcing myself too cos i didnt wanna hurt him.
but at last, the tables were turned around and i was "HURT" in return.
so what? i wont care less.. but i'm free from him at last.
and i canmake my own choices. my life, my desision.
but i guess he is still HUMAN who makes mistakes.
however, his mistakes are just too unforgivable.
i dont mind he hurting me. but i wont let him off if he goes around doing the same ting to other gerls.
that is just not gentlemanly.

i'm just TOO HAPPY that i cant put it into words.
i'm HAPPY that i'm free from him.
i'm HAPPY cos i found out that the feelings i had fer him was FORCED.
i'm HAPPY as i'm no longer confused anymore...
i wont regret this desision. cos i felt that the month that i spent with him was just a huge mistake that should nevr never happen.
i should have thought carefully about it before believing every word that he said.
but its OVER NOW. and i'm proud to say i dont have any regrets for it to end this way.
it is BETTER this way and i wont want it any other way.

i thank everyone who have been encouraging me from the very start.
one point one, my two bestfriends, helping me in making my desision.
two point two, grrlfrens, always scolding me for being to nice to him. and i guess you guys are the best cos he wasnt the one for me anyway.
three, syafeeqa and yana, always there screaming at my ears whenever he calls. lol
three grps of wonderful ppl.
thank you soo muchhh...
"dreams are just meant to be dreams.
its all just a fantasy. "

fanaaa.