SUNDAY MORNING.

morrrninggg..its sunday.haha.duhh. tmw is mondayy..so fast seyy..hmm..yesterday went to town wif farah..yana..fix and me..overall, i had great fun..although our legs were aching cos of daaa walk..

shoes were a BIG PROBLEM. hahhaa.met farah at 10.30 who woke up late..haha..and then met yana at cck at 10.45 together wiff feeqa..daa rain was ssooo heavvyy..luckily i brought a huge umbralla..hahaa..we were freezing in daa bus..so coldd..aircon dia full speed..tak ke giler tuuu..hahaa..first stop was far east.and went all around far east..daa first one to buy sth was yanaaa.she bought her bag firrst...then farah bought her green jeans....i was finding a purple topp..and i cant find..damn pissed seyy..then go this fashion and buy my denim skirrt..oke la..at least gt sth..haha..left wif feeqa havent buy shoe..so walked to wisma atria cos we saw TOPSHOp..hahaa..so expensive daa thing..so dint get any tops..hmm..then go to cineyleisure..all were hungry..actually go cineyleisure gt motive.haha.

i was hoping to see daa cute waiter who served me last mth..but he wasnt theree..agaknya off ..hahhaa...saw his friend only..his friend like kenal me and my friends..hmm..so eat and snappp piccc.. after that go heeren..buy shoe..walk walk..then go baq to far east..thanks to me..who changed ma mind abt buying daa belt.hahaa..so go baq..hmmm..like that la..that was mah dayy...hahaa..k la..gtg..tag my new board aitesss.
takecare.
*miss reality*

errr.morrningg ppl..its a bright sunny saturday..hahaa.crappings..hmm..yesterday i reached home at 11.30pm..after a long long day at tampines..i did enjoy mahself..only that i dint bring my spectacles and i cant see clearly when daaa performance was going on..hahaaa..so okey..friday had ss lesson after school and went home straight after that..thanks to feeqa who did my hair fer one freaking hour..hahaa.thanks fix.=) then my sister was already bugging and calling me to get out of daa house..it was only 4pm.show starts at 8pm.hahaa..tu la..dasar kiasu.

so met her at eunos mrt all alone.imagine..ALONE.hahaa..but it wasnt that bad..i had time to reflect on some issues which had happened currently and in daa past..hmm..met her and qamarul..whom she claims to be her bestfriend.ahaha..i doubt soo..nehhhh..hahaa..she belanja me go eat at makmur cafe..ordered black pepper chicken chop..yummyy..verrii nice..then took train and proceeded to her school..my leg had blisters and she forced me to run up her school gate..crazy..hahaa..her friends also named farhana booked seats fer us..=) so we dint haf to sit at daa stairs. daa performance was actually a drama based on masa dulu dulu..

it was really funny..but i din get to take much pix cos flashes can make ppl irritated..hahaha.i managed to take daa Dikir barat part though..both daa grrls and guys group were fantastic..hahaa..managed to spot some cuties.hahaa..k la.sudah la. hmm. i enjoyed mahself.i had fun. =) thanks sis.

today, hitting town at 10.30am..and i havent siap yett..hahaa.rabakk..gg wif yana ..fix..and farah..all wanna buy stuffs..and i am still finding cheap coloured contacts..urgghh..and BY CHANCE AGAIN..i terjumpa ma ex at daa CCK interchange..coincidence uh? and last week..was daa same..so 2 meetings. so not planned.. hahaa..

k la..wanna go siap already..
anyting beep my fone.
i'll update soon.
takecare.
*miss reality*

BLURRP.

afternoonn...urghh.so tired today..thank god it is a short day..hehee..was supposed to have detention today..but mr lee postponed daa detention class..so sweet of him..hahaa..yesterday slept at about 10.30pm..and amrul msged me at 2am..cos i asked him to wake me up as i said i wanna study..hahaa..but my eyelids were so heavy that i was msging him with ma eyes closed..hahaha..
at 4am, he wake me up fer sahur..cos he was watching soccer..and he teman me msg till i finished eating..ONE CONCLUSION: why he started to care only after when things are said and done? i dont get it..

hmm..cant wait fer saturday going shopping at town..feel like buying daa whole shop..ahhaa..at least i am gonna spend on something which i saved up for..and not splurge my parents money like i always do..hahaa..this friday going to TPJC..got what performance la..dk performance..i tink? hahaa..next week public concert..urggh.tings arre really going on so fast..time passes by quickly..by daa time..its PRELIMS 2.hahaa..rabakkk..

errr..k la..wanna go STUDY..which i hope to do..hahaa..
cya peeps around.
update tmw.heeee.
takecare.
anyone wanna join me star gaze?
hmmm.

clock shows 4.38pm.haha..daa day in school was fun..i always have fun in school..last nite, i slept after replying amrul's msg.i was closing my eyes when i was msging him..haha..was soo sleepy..cos i slept at 2am on sunday..i set my alarm today at 4 am and another at 4.15am..want to sahur nasi wif tomyam soup..but i off-ed the alarm and my dad woke me and my sis up at 5.20am..haha..then i was like shitt..i dint sahur..and quickly swolled some pieces of bread and dad made me a cup of hot milo..hahaa..thanks dad..=) it was raining heavily..so i had a cold morning..hahha..

firrst period of daa day was social studies..learnt about venice..hmm..can say daa topic is quite fun and interesting and i had fun learning about venice, the great city of state ...hahaa..2nd period was physics..we had our gallery walk..we went to 7 different stations wif questions on light from daa ten yr series..i must say i benefited alot frm it..haha..only that i still need to get some of mah facts correct..then it was english..ms teo absent.hahaa...so dint do anything...followed by recess... recess time i wrote his name on my paper..it was surrounded everywhere..ahhaa..and then cry..hahaha..rabakkk...then accounts..accounts, daa period which i dread going classes for..cos daa teacher would flare up when things dont go his way..scary..hahaa..but he was okay. thank god..lunch at bout 1.45pm..had poa after that..this time we heard songs by taufik and rui-en..national day song..and our poa teacher danced to daa music..hahaa..it was soo funny..we had fun laughing at him..hahaa..

overall, daa day was fun.cos i had fun laughing wif feeqa..kim, evelyn, hajar and yana..those ppl surrounding me..not fergetting my grrlfrens..harrt you guys alot..these ppl made mah life incredible..and now.. i found a deeper meaning to life..i found reality.this time, its for real..

*miss reality**

//*search yur heart.search yur soul.*//

booo~ its raining now..luckily reached home before it rained..miss sharena and mrs soo dint come today..so we had no chemistry and english lesson..english was supposed to end at about 3.15pm and what did we do? CABOT la..no teacher..haha..then i heard mdm pua (geog teacher) came to class searching for us..not our fault..she said that chem was supposed to be geog..but she dint come in..so ..NOT OUR FAULT.muahahaha..school's okeyy..only that yana dint come today..recess sat in class and played FLAMES.haha..lame game..fasting again today..soon buker already =)..hehee...

hmm.these are daa pics fer yesterday..holla at blok 644..haha..daa wedding ceremony was so kecoh..but it was stuffy and boring..so i spent most of my time eating kueh lapis and agar agar..hahaa..took pics wif my cousin and all..but dint get to see hatta at all..dint know where did he go..hahaa..ate nasi beriyani daging..yummmyyyy..and lotsa kueh muehh..hehhee..yumm..
*slurrpp* after that went to my cousin's house at yishun blok 629..haha.it was just one street away from daa wedding..cool huh..daa whole family was there except fer my uncle..cos this said family is only half-related to us..same grandfather but different grandmother..haha..complicated background.. after chilling at my cousin's house, we went to west coast..visit my grandmother pulak.. hahhaa..


see this grrl herre..so cute rite..but aiyahh..notty notty..hahaha..so notty till u feel like screaming at her sometimes..cos i did scream at her..i was irritated already then she threw balloons at my face..hahaha..sapa tak geram seyy...hahaa.so i screamed at her..hahaha...

and see what happened to herr..cry la what else.hahaa..not my fault..she irritated me firrst..hahaha..actually i like kids la..but this one..haiya..hyperactive..ahhaa..but still..she would be my cute lil cuzzy..as cute as me?hahhaa..maybe??hehehheee..
blurrppppyyy..

*miss reality*

org kahwinn..

its already 1pm..so fast..hmm.yesterday after i came baq from daa wedding..cleaned my make up and off to SLEEP..sleep until ten plus..hahaa.i dint realise what time it was and just continued sleeping..boooo..yesterday was tiring but fun..reached yishun at about 8.30pm..and my parents are alreadythere waiting fer meee..hehhee..i found ma way there..weeee...its block 644..not 626..i missed one street..so must go and walk la..haha..when we reached..all daa people already went to daa grrl's side to akad nikah..so we were late..thanks to me..hahaa..so were took cars and go to sembawang..and in abgsaiful's car...we were entertained by songs...bellydancer..turn me on..ape lagi..nyanyi la mcm org gilerrr...hahaa..it was fun..then...jeng jeng jeng...we went pass daa jamming place..then i was like..ZEEEEEE...and my cousin just said..she understood...urgghh..almost cried seyy..it went pass daa place where i was lost..daa overhead bridge..oh gawdd...terperanjat berok.. MEMORIES FANAAA..hahaks..then go sembawang...sit and hear him akad nikah..he repeated it 5times..case dah nervous abes..hahaa..so funny..i go and laugh..hahaa..cos he was like shaking like that and he dint knw what to say..hahaa..k la..i am bad..shudnt haf laughed at him..hahaa..then we went home larr..tired already....nGantok..blUrPS...today still must go there again..cos today sanding mahhh...hmm..tired..tmw school..first period...ACCOUNTS...bummerrrr...

bLuRpS.

morningggg...its 8.30 am in daaa morning and i am awake..muahahhaaa..slept at one am last nite..penat..hahaks..did some maths questions in daa afternoon and i slacked fer daa whole bloody dayy..at nite..talked to abdullah on daa fone..hahaa..he's one funny person..hahaa..but i enjoyed daaa four hours conversation wif him..hahaks..it made my day..and it made me laugh like crazy..hahaks..thanks abdullah..=) hehehe...today i am gonna do a lil bit of my chem and physics revision..TYS..uhh..no matter how much i hate it..i must do it anyway..haiyerr...at nite gt ppl nikahh at yishun area....where gt ppl nikah at nite one ryte...hahhaa..dud noe leyy...i am soo bored...urghh..no body's home..my sis went to school and my parents went to malaysia fer a while..good thing i was still sleepingg..hahak..next week wanna go town and shoppp..2 whole weeks worth of savings..hehehee....and i wanna catch a movieee too..dud noe when and wif who...aiyerr..wanna go rileks la...very stress already..hmm...anyone knw any nice movies? watch wif me k?heheee...k la..signing off.. tag me peoplee.. lots of lurv.. miss reality.BLURP BLURP BLURP...hhahaa..

six sense.

heyy..just got home frm school..and met my ex in daa best..oh my god..my heart was jumping like crazy sehhh...my legs were shaking..and i just stared at looked straight..hahaa...he did smile at me..so i was like okeyy..hahaa..dud noe la..i have been sensing that i would meet somebody..and seee...i got sixth sense..hahaks..hmm.today in daa morningg have english lesson..it was okeyy..learnt comprehension skills and i benefited from doing daaa compre practices...then followed by maths..went through daa paper 2 corrections..she asked us to complete daa chapter 3 of ten yr series and she dint check! hahaha..but nevamind..again, it benefited me...hehee.. followed by mother tongue..just did our own things..recess...last but not least..social studies.. i was planning to sleep in the class..but mrs foo was sooo bloodily funny..hahaha..laugh laugh...hahakss..i had a day of fun...kimberly was daaa greatest partner u cud ever sit wiff..all we do is laugh..hahaa..but got study la..after school go eat at long john after 4 days of not eating fast food.hahaa...was craving fer that...so me yana, hajar and farah went to eat therree...gossiped abt this soul in our class and imitate her moves.hahaa..it was so funny..hahaa..we are bad..i know..budden..no choice..hahaks.. then we rushed home as farah nidda go to daa hospital.. hope everytings gona be okeyyy.. hmm.k la i gtg nowwww.. cya peeps soon.. takecare..... lots of loveee.. fanaaaaa

RACIAL HARMONY.

21st july 2005.commemorate racial harmony dayy..weeee..tot daa day was gonna be a boring one but..it was so fun..cameras everywhere.snap here and there..hahaks..just had a hell loads of fun.
only that we were left with many maths hw to complete..TYS whole of chapter 3...by tmw..i did only part of it.hehhee...cant be blamed..uhhh..i'm getting sickkk..uhhh.....feverishh..tmw break frm puaser...4 days done..still got dunno how many to goo..hahhaks..

hmmm..time FLIES..its already wednesdayy..20 july..half daa mth of july is overr..oh noooo.. i feel like reversing daa time..hahaks..go baq to daa beginning of sec4..and restart..but its okeyy.i'll use whatever time i have..prelims one are disappointing...hmm..but i'm catching up..no worriess..hahaks..ten yr series are my bestfrens now..just do till i get crazy and master all daa questions..so far so good...hehe..k la..dont say abt studies alreadyy..hahaks.. hmm..yesterday amrul called me..SURPRISE SURPRISE..talk talk abt him me..his grrl my boy..hahaks.chey mcm ada boy..TAKDA UHHHH..hahaks..abt one hr of conversation..he say i sound different..hmm???hahaks..today had a hell of fun in class..laugh laugh...recess sat in class only..cos faasting again..hmm..then ss do essayy..physics got presentation..i became daa presenter..haha.so proud of mahself..i did a great job..ahhaa...mcm real...waiting fer buka puasa now..hehee..lagi satu jam jerr...hehee..3days over...weee~..saved alot..syukur.....i've been tuning in to warna radio in daa morning..dgr syarahan frm uztaz suhaimi fauzi..hahaks..he's kinda funny..hehee..then got mengaji all..hehee..=) fana crappingg..tmw racial harmony..lazy to come school..got paiseyy feeling..hahaks..hmm...tmw bgn at 4am...sahur again..daily routine..sahur sorang plak tuu..heheee..anyone wanna wake me up?hehehee. k la..gtg nowww.. nak masak..hehee. asalamualaikum. selamat berbuka.. nieways..HAPPY BDAE AMIRAH AND ARATI... HAPPY SUHWEET SIXTEEN. STAY SUHWEET LIKE FANA..HAHAKS.. MEPEK..

gd afterrnoon ppl...its 4pm now..3 more hours to buka puasa...hehehee..yeaa..fasting today..and fer daa next month..not that i haf to abstain frm food and drinks but also stop saying bad tings and bad words..hahaks..thats daa hard part..hmm..at abt 12.30am last nite..zee called me..it was sucha shock i had..but..i was glad..=) heeeee..we may not be together anymore..but daa 2yrs of friendship that we built is still continuing..i wont ask for any thing more..cos its rather we be friends than be nothing at all ryte? syukur alhamdulilah i got to know somebody wonderful like him in my life..heeee...then at 4am..wake up for sahur..eat cereal..then read buku solat fer a while then fell asleep..i set my alarm at 5.30 to wake up to solat..but..OOPS...ahhaks..u shud knw what happened. then in school..morning lesson was accounts..it was sucha scary class we had..mr lee was like scolding us...OUCH..early in daaa morninggg...oh my gawdddd..hahaks..had fun in maths class doing TYS questions..ended school at about 2.45pm and went straight home..hahaks..was too tired todayy..no energy..but daa grrlies took photos before we went off..thanks to ma camera..muahahhaa.. tmw there is PE..but still would be fasting..hope i would be strong enough to carry on my day..insyallahh..tmw playbadminton..weeeee..and a rilexing dayy..however we end at 3.15pm..boooo....k la..MISS REALITY signing off... slamat berpuasa yanaaa and faraaa...=)

*errrrmmmm..

holla baq...anotha sundayyy..time really flies...muahahahaha..i've started to find bits of myself a lil by a lil..REALITY that is..NO DREAMING .. i should get baq on my feet..like what he said to me..STOP WHINNING AND GET BAQ TO LIFE..and i guess he's right..life can be seen at many different angles..and i guess its time i see it at a different angle..rather than sit and stare waiting fer miracles to happen..being somebody who have been down with bad luck for 15years..miracles dont happen to me..geeeee..i myself do not know why...to be contented with what i have now.. although life may seem sad and lonely..but..thats REALITY..i am baq to daa world which is labelled as REALITY..i haf left ma world of FANTASY..cos i dont think i'll get any benefit by being theree..life is a rollercoaster ride..people may come..and then they may leave..it may hurt..budden..FACE IT..its REALITY..everyting i say today is about REALITY..hahaa..i promised mahself not to get drowned in daa scene of love anymore..i cant take any more pain and hardship..i think its better if stay like this...there would be many years to come..daa time fer me to love would come..and i guess..its just not now..like what mama said..there are plenty of guys out theree..hahaa..
niewayss...i have learnt to pluck some notes frm daa gitar my sister just borrowed from her friend..i've learnt to play daa song "like a stone" ..hahaks..just that at times, my fingers do get mixed up..hahaks..PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT....life TWIRLS..muahahhaaa..
signing off here..i got baq ma name..
MISS REALITY.

GRADES.

its just another boring saturdayy...yawnssss..nothing new..still ALONe..muahahhaa..fm next week onwards..i'm gonna save up ma moneyy..cos i'm on a diett..i gained weight since daa prelims exams..its time i lost some of them..hahaks..as fer life..i'm still finding reality..i am lost..bloodily lost and lost ma sense of direction..i dud knw where to go...hope i'll find mahself soon too..prelims one. GONE...hahaa...life as an o lvl studentt..aiyooo...many obstacles we have to overcome..malay o's are done..if i get anyting more than an a2..i'll retake..i have to waste my bloody time retaking.. hahaks...i just wanna go out and haf fun..i dud wanna stay and look at books..eyerrrr..no wayy.. budden o's is in 3 and a half mths time..i gotta do somethingggg...urggghhh..just wanna prove to my parents i can do just as well as my sisterr..all is easier said then done..getting good grades is hard..i even haf difficulty passing..goshhh...life TWIRLS and TWIRLS...this thursday is racial harmony dayy..i've decided to wear maroon..ahhaks..my sec2 colour wif him..ermm...we pakat wear same color..hahaks..mcm real..hahaks..bet its gonna be a great dayy..cos there wud be a lot of cam-whoringg..i'm gonna be fully equipped wif BATTERIES.hahaks..i've made a new list of targets. AIMS FOR DAA PRELIMS 2 and O's. English- B3. Malay- A2. POA- A2. maths- b4[[hahaa..dream on]] humanties.-A2. sub-science-B4. all this are DREAMS. it may not come true. these are just aims. it wont bring me to fameee.

today's friday..15th july 2005...i would like to take this opportunity to give 2 shoutouts..HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEAN AND JOORAIHAN.hahaks.they wunt be reading ma blogs..but niewayss..happie bdaee..may all ur wishes and dreams come true...today was daaa malay o lvl listening compre..it was okeyy...quite fun..daa song helena was played..hhaaks.quite shocking seyyy...before i went out, fried some nuggets and they got burnt..hahaks..i would never get married like this rite ppl? my husband will die of hungerr..hahaha..then took a taxi and off i go to school..assembled and bla bla bla..short dayy..my legs are still aching cos of daa 2.4km run yesterdayy..at least i managed to pass..16 minutes.hahaks..broke my record..hahaks...life for me nowadays is boring ..wonder wonder..ponder ponder..when would i find daa real me?daa miss fanaaa every one knew baq then? i myself do not know..my life trails are just too hard to tracee..i dont even know where am i heading too..whats instore fer me?....or should i say miss blade is baq?hmm..i myself do not noe..oh nooo..what happened to meeee..i keep saying this line..but this time..i am gonna scream it out loud..SOMEBODY SAVEEEE MEEEEE...hahaks..



ps: nieways..abdullah if u're reading mahh blog..bila badminton nak starrtt..ehheee.

title: miss-under-stood.
creation by: miss fanaaa.

MISS-UNDER-STOOD.

the world is unkind and evil.
but that is life.it twirls and twirls.
but i've had it.i feel like giving up.
i feel so empty and fucked up.

looking at ma tests results,it just doesnt show.
daa disappointment i feel..i, myself would only know.
i was looked down upon.feeling tattered and torn.
wondering to maself..why was i even born?

i failed in almost everything in life.
what can i do? i just cant survive.
mum! please believe that i've tried fer this test.
i was hoping that i could be daa best.

i'm lost in a world called fantasy.
somebody..could u help me find reality?
i've lost everything i once had.
i just cant help but feel sad.

i need a shoulder to cry on.
i need a somebody to rely on.
i feel so alone and helpless.
whats more? i'm even useless.

i cant imagine whats gonna happen to me.
i was even set free.
is this why i entered daa world of fantasy?
when will this last?if it does, when would i call myself MISS REALITY?

somebody please save me.
just let me find daa real me.
i want to get out of daa world of fantasy.
somebody..could you help me find reality?

[[i dint say anyting.did i?]]

today was a vewi bad day fer me..mama and ayah scolded me early in daa morning cos i asked them to sign ma maths paper..i knw i did badly..but i dare to say..I GAF MY BEST...they said i dint..cos i got such bad results..gawddd..they said i dint even try and i dint put in ANY effort...that statement hurt me daa most..it was 6.15am..i stayed in ma room and just cried...till i reach school..i guess they dint realise that i tried ma best..i did..i did...i dont know who would believe me if i said i tried my best..but i did...haizzz..and my chem FAILed. English FAILED. how am i supposed to answer to them???how..tell me how...i feel HELPLESS.even more USELESS..what should i do now??what.....i wanna run and go somewhere...somewherree... guess i am baq to my old habit..i feel so damn helpless which would drive me to slit myself..its been a while i stopped daaa habit....goshhh..somebodyy..please..help mee....where should i go...i cant stay anymore...

MAMA..AYAH..
I'M SORRYYY...

hmmm.

hey therree.....today's tuesday...daa day was okeyy...lots of laughter filled daa air during accounts class..cos we were so called "revising".....hahaks...we did debtors and creditors account..and bugger la..my prelim paper..i did creditor account instead of debtor account.hahaks.so.i get a ZERO fer daa question..flunking all seyy..ss is okeyy..source based passed..but structured...havent get baqq... things are so failing now...esp wif ma studies...dud noe what happened...and i am recovering frm losses i face frm time to time..haishhh..life uhh?guess sooo..like i said..SOMEBODY SAVE MEEEEE...ANYONE?muahahhahahahaa...
ps: qeela.thanks fer all daa laughterr..heheeee...u made ma day a laughing dayy...=)



[[disappointing.somebodyyy save meeeee..]]]

FLUNKED.

gd aftaaanoon ppl.hmm.just came baq frm a boring day at school..just BORING would be a great word to describe daaa dayy..hmm...got baq chemistry paper and fuckingly disappointing cos i failed dammnn badly..no need combined wif physics la...FAIL ONE.
and you guys know sth? i feel like GIVING UP ALREADY.i dont know how to cope anymore....
this is MY BEST.i gaf MY BEST for daaa prelims and what daaa heck do i get BAQ? BAD RESULTS.DAMNNN...just two words to describe daa feeling of flunking your whole prelims.
UTTERLY DISAPPOINTING..i am just too tired...daa way i am tired of all relationships of mine which NEVER TURN OUT RIGHT and IT NEVER WORKS.
what daa heck is wrong wif me? any one can tell me?
please.fana is clueless.
DOWN.
CLUELESS.
HELPLESS.
I WANNA GIF UP NOW.

bla bla bla..hahaks..these are daa pictures of daa nite tourr..it was kinda fun la..but sleepy and tiringg..kata nite tourr..so at 6.30 all of us assemble in school and take attendance.took daa bus and off to esplanade..or shud i say clarke quayy..and took daa bumboat ride..daa boat consists of me.yana.hajar.fiqa.feeya.farah.ridhwan.sathya.rayson and cikgu ifaaa..or she called her self QUEEN ELIZABETH.hahaks..went round there and took pics..having fun and laughterr...me and yana talked again.cos there was a small misundastanding..errrmm...but then all is settled.. after tha ride..we went to nite safari look at animals..hahaa.daa animal show was tiring cos we had to stand and watch daa show..afta that was daa tram ride.haha...daa tram was bloodily slow.almost slept inside.then aishah was making all daa kecohness which made us laugh and alive again.hahaks..afta that we went off to lau pa sat and eat..daa food was very mahal..many satays....afta that at abt 1am we made our way to changi airport...daa itinary states that we would go and take skytrain..we end up slacking at daa staircases and taking pics.hahaks..then afta that go to pasir panjang see ppl buy vegetables.lame la..but then..cikgu ifa bought so many vegetables that some fell on daa road.hahaks..so funny la she...and then...we went to daa fish port.haha..wahh..daa aroma just cant be defined in words itself.hahahaks..followed by breakfast and then to school..and home then SLEEPP... hahaaks..then at 3pm go johor wif my family..and went there to cut ma hair..muahhahaa.at last i cut my hair.hahas..on daa way to johor..listened to daa discman and "relaku pujuk"... i was in tears afta that..i remembered when he sang daa song to me..sob sobb..sedihh..hahaks.. after cutting daa hair we go mamams again.then sleep again til today morning.hahaks..tired mahh.must get rest..hehheee.k la till then my longest post of daaa month.hahahaks.takecare suhweetie pies.i''ll update soon.

CREATION FER DINI.

hey ya'll.today i wont write abt what happen to me.
instead.its a poem to my grrlfriend who is going thru a tough time.
so NURUL DINI ABDUL RAHIM.tis song is fer you baby grrl.

CREATION:miss faanaaaa.
DEDICATED TO: nurul dini.
TITLE: i'm lost.

you open your eyes you see tha world has changed.
you feel helpless as theres is nothing fer you to gain.
critising, cold shoulders and badmouthing is what u got.
i know you dint do it on purpose.but darling, they just forgot.
they left u alone without you knowing why.
you feel helpless.but they left and u cried.

they blamed you for daa mistakes.
you were left dumbfounded hoping that this is all a fake.
they left you all alone in daa dark.
you cried.but then you screamed. "I DONT GIF A FUCK."
stay strong my girl.
this is life.it twirls and twirls.
things are gonna be alright.
grrlfren, hold on tight.
its not gonna be easy.
life may look simple.but nahhh.DIZZY.

CHROUS:
dont be afraid to stand up for your rights.
dont ever give up without a fight.
dont give up.
dini dont give up.
theres nothing to fear.
like i said, everythings gonna be alrite.
dont fear.
dont be afraid.
dont show that ur blinded.

all daa eight of us are here.
aisha.wanie.qeela.farah.feeya.yana.ika.
we wont ever say to you "TATA"
theres also myself.we dont hurt you.
we would always be there to guide you through.
no matter what.no matter when.
all of us. would always be grrlfrens.

PS: DINI.dont worry.
this song is written fer you.
later i sing fer u k?
hehehee.cheeseeee.

I MISS YOU.
I MISS HOLDING YOUR HAND.
I MISS YOU TELLING ME.
"DARLING.EVERYTINGS GONNA BE OKAY.''
BUT NOW, I AM LEFT BRUISED AND BATTERED.
TRASHED AND SCATTERED.
U SAID TO ME "DARLING, ITS US.TILL DEATH DO US PART"
ALL OF IT WERE DESTROYED.
INCLUDING MA HRRT.


i oso dunno what i am writingg.
hahahaa.

heylo ppl.i am baq frm outings wif daaa grrlies.me and farah left at 9.30 to catch daa moviee..it was a sad movie..a lot like love..daa guy is soo hawt..ASHTON ...awwwww...both of us were like melting like mnms.hahaks. afta that we went long john..eat eat...met feeqa halfway.who wanted to buy baju..budden sth happen so she went baq firrst..me and farah stayed and drank milkshake frm orange julius.hahaks.yummyy..tha waiter was superr cute..tapi like kerek uhh..hahaks..afta that went home..had lotsa fun though.tmw nite tourr..hope to haf fun too..hehee..k la..gtg nowww...must go masak nasi.hehehee.

*JURONG POINT*

hey peooopleeee...today is tha last day of my prelims exams..hhaaks.lets celebrateeee..
hahaks..not yet o lvls oso wanna celebrate..ape darr..today science paper one..can la..quite challenging oso.nothing seems easy fer me nowadays.hehehe...got some tikam tikam oso..cos i didnt studyy..i slept earrly..heheee...see la..tis is called an O LVL student..who sit and slack..hahaks..then afta tha papers went to Jurong point wif feeqa.feeqa.faaraa.and kak inaaa..so funny..hahaks.basically to put it words..it was GREAATT.hahaks.had lots of fun..dunno abt what..but we all just kept on laughingg..discussed abt tha physics ten yr series questions..we ate and walk around then we went baq home..hahaks.me and feeqa kept talking abt tha woody wood pecker bapok.hahaks..we are so bad..hahaks.but what to do.he is like a bapok already..muahahaha. tmw everybody has their own planss...so tmw gonna hit town again.hahaks...just slack i guess...mummy gonna gif me moneyy...friday is normal time table..and i tink papers would be given out.haaks.there comes tha scarry partt...dud noe la..just leave everyting up to FATE.hahaks.k la ppll anyting holla me at my tagboard.hehehehheeee.
chao chin chao.

ORALS**

hey peoopleeee..just came baq from ma malay orals.hahaks.and i tink i sooo freakingg screw it up..i uttered tha werd shitt in front of tha teacherr..hahaks..speechless sehh..setahu tahu..nanti otak BLANK.aiyahhh.mcm ner nak pass mcm nieeee..hahaks.just now was my poa paper one..is kinda hard too..i am gonna flunk ma prelims which i dint expect too.hmm.i kinda werk hard fer it la..but..dud noe leyy.some things are just not meant to go OUR WAY. my life hadnt always go my wayy..u guys shud know that..hahaks..JINXed**...tmw is ma last paperr..physics and chem paper one...gonna do some TYS tmw.and do some serious tings to my studies.haha.BUCK UP MAN. till when i wanna take tings easy and lean baq..somebodyyyy...wake mee uppppp...hhaaks..afta orals..go lot one wif feeqa..find bags fer tha nite tour..and i am gonna make sure i bring my cans of coffee and some chocolates to keep me awakeeee...hehee.hope to haf fun.cos i nidd a break frm EVERYTING. from life.from studies.EVERYTING***

morningg ppl..its almost ten in tha morrningg..haha.i just cant bloody sleep..can get nitemares. hmm..yesterday i went to yishun to visit my cousin's baby..verry cutee..but so tiny..wanna hold him oso i scared..haha..his name is muhammad azrul or sth..hmm..nth much happened yesterrday..studied a bit of poa..and today i am gonna catch up on my poa..and tmw is my malay orals.how leyyy..i was forced to read malay newspapers by mama..haha...left 2 more papers and prelims I is overrrr...weeee...then got nite tour on tha 8th july..hope its gonna be fun..cos i wud be sitting wif yanaaaaa..weee..today i not gg out i guesss...tmw exams..aiyerr.lecer kan hidup la exams sumerr.haha..niewayysss.today is ms sharena's bdaee..so happy bdae to herr..dah tua cikgu aku..hahaaks..k la..gtg nowiesss.wanna mamam breakfast..hehee...u guys takecare yapp...fana wud be baq soon...tag tau ppl..jgn tak tag..hehee..

ps:thanks to fahmi and amrul fer all tha encouragement and support. to my grrlfrens too.harrt you guys.

CREATION BY: FANA.
--I LOST EVERYTING.--


i lost everyting i once had.
everything that i thought was picture perfect.
you left me.trashed and scatterd.
and my heart was left bruised and battered.

it happened to suddenly.
why darling why.
i thought i was strong to face all tha shit.
but damn.i was so wrong.

i am left all alone in tha world.
with nothing to laugh and twirl.
my heart is hurting and my wrists are slitted.
i just wanna scream and shout as my heart were torn apart

this is so hard and painful
and i am left with nothing but scars.
i'm sorry darling. i can never replace her.
that i know.and now i got nothing to fear.

thanks fer accompanying me through my lonely nights.
where tha moonlit shine so bright.
now i am alone and hurt.
with nothing left, i feel like dirt.


26th may 2005 to 1 july 2005.
wooshh.all gone.

holla baq peopleeee.
fana's baq to rawk tha stage.
haha.stepp jerrkk.hmm nevamind.
today i woke up kinda earrlyy..
before i know anyting..tha tears came out.haha.
i was like saying damnnn...
its okay la.what happened i take it as a blessing in disguise.
kalau ada merger mesti ada separation kan?
hehee.i am okeyy..would be fine in a few days time..
doa doa he's happy wif tha grrl of his dreams...
if he happy..i oso happy larr.cheyyy..hahaa.crappingg
prelims gonna end real soon..
then would start prelims II. stresss...TYS excercises all tha wayyy.
haha.stepp ten yrr series..nanti tak buat.hehee.
next week gonna watch movieee.dunno wanna watch alot like love
or war of tha worlds..hmmph..
hahaa..see how larr...

ps: i would like to thank my grrlfrens fer all their support.
aica..dinie.wanie.qeela.farah.ika.yana.feeya...harrt u guysss.
and to amrul.thanks alot...i appreciate ur presence and concern.
keep on rawking guyss.
love ya guys loads and loads.hahaa.

i would stay.tha streets of our lives.

the streets of life, is somewhere we can survive.
i need somebody to love, trust and hold.
my love for you weigh a tonne.
but darling...what haf u done?
why must you go and come back next year.
cos there would be so many things that i would fear.
but i can do nothing but sit and cry.
rather than i just slit and die.

oh darling what did you do?
i dont ever wanna see you in hardship and suffer in there.
all i can do is just stare.
i dont wanna see you far away from me.
so please call..and tell that you would stay.
there and then i would go crying again.
i feel like a piece of shit as i can do nothing but .FAINT.


i feel so weak without you around.
you are somebody special whom i have found.
but why does it all last only for a while.
you left again.this time.you left without a smile.
there would be nobody to tell me .."fana..life is worthwhile"

darling..i am gonna miss you while you are away.

for one whole year darling..but i would stay.


i would stay and wait for you.
one year is only a mile away.
i would be waiting and repeatly say "zee..i would stay"
darling, please take good care of yourself.
and remember i'm here for you.
in shits or dumps.i would still care.
i would still be loving you. no matter what i would go through
i promise that i would love and wait for you.