*masih terserlah ayumu.*

good morningg peopleeeee. its a bright thursday. haha. today, i woke up at 8 plus. and thats quite late fer me. i dont usually wake up that latee. haha. NO SCHOOL today . at last, can rest fer quite a bit. no plans fer going out today. in fact, i'm cashless. haha. ez link oso no money. sigh sigh.

mom left fer work early in daa morning. she would only be home at 6 plus. my dad's working and my sis is out as usual. its left with me alone at home. so boriinggg. seriously. i plan to study today but i feel so lazy today. daa devils are poking me and saying to me dont study. haha. english homework is piling up my table. so many comprehensions. i can go bonkers. uhhh.


sumtimes, i feel like NOT STAYING in singapore. education is so important here. yaya. i know it is to have skilled workforce fer daa 21st century and to sustain singapore's development. *boring* haha. i wish i could study in australia. life is less stressful there. here, everything is about money. so materialistic. i'm sick of studying. i'm sick. i'm sick of being compared with people whom are already sucessful. i hate it too. i feel so down and low. with some ppl saying " oh, your sis is so smart" and like wad daa heck. they dont even notice my presence. i know i'm not as smart as her. at least, i'm trying so hard. if my parents cant see that, i would be left speechless. and there would only be one word to describe me. DUMB.

i have my dreams too. i'm human. i know i'm not perfect.. who doesnt wanna do well ? everyone does. everyone have their own dreams and desires. i dream to be a nurse specialising in children's illnesses. to be specific, a paedaetriction. mum said that it is not a good job. i dont know who to rely on anymore. i feel so alone. so alone. nobody to support me.. no encouragement.. i'm trying hard. i'm trying. i'm trying. but right now, i dont know what i want anymore. what JC? what POLY? NOTHING. i think i cant even make it.. a lil support fer me would do me good..

i feel like giving up. i feel like giving up. i feel like giving up. somebody, puhleez save me. *it hurts when they disapprove all along.*
pheww. i let out everything. at last.
i feel better. hahaha.
fana's okey. i promise.

i'm addicted to daa song " masih terserlah ayumu" by exist.
superr niceeeee. ahaa.
" sayang, bukannya sehari dua. percintaan kita ini,
janji pun sudah dipateri.
sayang, jangan ikut perasaan.
marah jangan disimpan.
ku hanya ingin menduga dan kini..
aku tahu satu kekasihmu.
hanya aku. "- exist. till then,
i'm off. waiting fer somebody to save me.
i wonder. i wonder. hahaa.
*miss reality*